A co-teacher once confided to us her fellow faculty members regarding that time when one mother of one of her students came to school for their teacher-parent conference regarding said student’s academic standing. When she the teacher told the parent regarding the near flunking grades in different subjects, the mother only retorted, “Ma-u na’y grado sa tinuod nga laki ma’am!” Translation, “That is the grade of the real man!”
When my co-teacher shared that conversation with us, I was taken back. I was aghast. I badly wanted to rebut or refute, or at the very least respond. What does that mean? So those of us who are serious about getting passing or near excellent grades, what does that make of us? And in what universe is that grades, academic grades, become the measure, the gauge of masculinity and sexuality? And most importantly, how in the world do low grades indicate masculinity?
Apart from having my masculine ego scratched, this statement has me thinking about the prevalent masculine ‘definition’ and the implications of said ‘definition’ toward society and societal functions in general.
Apart from grades, there are also other ‘floating’ definitions of masculinity pervading in the traditional life of the Filipino culture. Our culture and society have somewhat become an alternative dictionary, better than Miriam or Webster, to what it means to becoming and being a man. Other ‘definitions’ or ‘criteria’ also includes the ability to procreate outside marital commitment—that is, having illegitimate children. Another criterion is being able to maintain sideline, I mean, side chicks—concubines.
Maintaining these definitions is very dangerous to public life, not only because of its effects to religious and public morality, but for practical reasons as well. Imagine a society wherein men run around philandering, plunging into fake and shallow romance, making not just this month but every month for the rest of the year, valentines and reproductive health awareness month. The rising number of illegitimate children and the outcome of single-parenthood toward social and national economy and health is alarming. If we are to fix societal problems to the core, and with the family as the core, then we have to preserve our sanity, insight, and sensibility in defining societal and gender roles are in general, and what masculinity is in particular.
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